


When pigs fly

by meilunye



Category: Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Comedy, Gen, This is supposed to be funny, no ships in here just nishikage being... nishikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 09:50:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meilunye/pseuds/meilunye
Summary: The wandering knight Nishikage Seiya adventures to a village to help with the weirdest mission: to free the town from an invasion of… flying pigs?!
Kudos: 10





	When pigs fly

**Author's Note:**

> ⚡ This is supposed to be a funny parody, that's why the characters are a little ooc (but if you read it all you’ll find out why!)  
Also, please note as usual that English is not my native language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake. This is simply a translation of my original Italian writing.  
Enjoy!

At first glance the village looked... absolutely normal. Maybe it had been stupid of him to expect something different, yet he couldn’t imagine how that absurd request could have come from such a normal place.

As the perfect wandering knight he was, Nishikage was used to the weirdest missions, fighting against enemies of any level and environments of any kind of imperviousness. Despite his experience, this was the first time a poster hung on the bulletin board had caught his attention to such an extent.

He shrugged and dove into the narrow alleys of the village, staring at that beautiful and untouchable bubble of normality. He had no idea where to start from. He took the crumpled paper sheet out of his pocket and read it one more time: “_Mage urgently needed – rare case of infesting flying pigs”_. It looked as ridiculous as the first time, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.

First of all, he wasn’t a mage. He didn’t know any spell nor had a clue how to break one that had been cast by somebody else. He had accepted that mission only out of exasperation – as soon as he had entered the village, the inhabitants had been charmed by his body size and his shining armor and had begged him for help on their knees. And as usual, he had been unable to refuse.

Secondly, what the hell was a “flying pig”? A magical beast? A monster? A demon? An illusion? Sure enough it wasn’t any common animal, and Nishikage was no animal expert.

He definitely needed some help.

As far as he knew, by now even the tiniest village in the mountains had some sort of magician living there – they worked as doctors, or simply helped the local communities. He was hoping that place would be no exception.

The fastest way to find what he needed was to ask some villagers for directions during his walk. He needed a sorcerer, a wizard, a _witch_, anything was fine. His first encounter was already a blessing: an old man confirmed there was indeed a mage living in that village, and he even gave him some very precise directions to reach their house. The farthest house in the countryside, right in the middle of the crops and fields.

For some reason, he had the impression the old man was annoyed while giving him that information, as if talking about that mage made him deeply upset.

Nishikage shrugged once more. He had his own reasons, he guessed. Maybe he had a troublesome past with them, or the house was haunted, or something like that. He decided not to pay attention to that detail and he resumed his journey.

As soon as he set foot on the pathway leading to the forest and he found himself surrounded by the vastness of the open countryside, he understood what the announcement meant. Everywhere around him were endless cultivated fields, sprinkled with brightly colored flowers and their strong smell. The mountains acted as a natural frame to the valley, and they seemed to fade into the light-blue horizon, like a far away mirage. And the sky was clear and tinted in the most beautiful cerulean hue... with some pink stains floating in mid-air.

Yeah, that’s how it was – dozens, maybe even hundreds of pigs were floating around among the clouds. They looked like regular pigs, except for the tiny white wings growing on their backs, and for the mud dripping from their bodies.

Nishikage was speechless. Why on earth did he always end up in such ridicule situations every time he accepted a quest?

Before he could even realize what was happening, something slimy fell on his forehead and splashed into his eyes. He hurriedly cleaned them with one of his sleeves, feeling about to throw up. One thing he absolutely hated was mud staining his clothes, and his face was even a worse case.

He had to hurry up and find that mage. Those pigs were a clear example of public danger and absolutely had to be brought back down on the ground. He started running in order to prevent any further accident with the _aerial fauna_ from happening and reached the house in the blink of an eye, panting and dripping with sweat.

« Hop! ».

A voice caught his attention, and Nishikage looked in the direction it was coming from. A person dressed in a black tunic was reaching out on his tiptoes, trying to catch a flying pig by pushing it down with his fists.

They weren’t tall enough to make it. Thanking his considerable height, Nishikage went closer to them and firmly grabbed the animal with both hands, getting an annoyed grunt out of it.

« Oh », the stranger said, « Thank you ».

Nishikage looked down and met his gaze. Some unruly strands of pink hair were coming out of his hood, and his gray eyes were unnaturally dull, almost lifeless. The smile on his face was indeed sincere, though – and Nishikage had to admit the boy was kind of pretty, too.

For a second he felt a rush inside his chest and he blushed. It had been months since the last time he received such a bright smile from a stranger. After a few famous guilds had gained popularity and monopolized the most heroic quests, he and the other lonesome free knights had been forced to take on only the worst missions. He was satisfied overall, but heartfelt thanks were sadly very rare.

He dropped the pig on the ground and cleared his throat before lifting his head up, so as to calm down and hide his blush from the boy.

« You’re pretty tall », the boy said.

Whoa, that was exactly the way 90% of his dialogues with random people went. People were indeed very perspicacious! « Huh, yeah... » he said awkwardly.

An awkward silence fell on them. He was completely unable to keep conversations going, especially small talk, so he had no idea what to say. But the way that boy stared at him was too unsettling – his gaze was intense, as if he was spying his very soul. After all he was a mage, right? Maybe he could read his thoughts.

He had to say the first thing that came to his mind. « Are you here to retrieve the pigs as well? » he asked.

The boy nodded. « Yeah », he said, « Kinda ». He took off his hood and his hair were stirred by the fresh breeze. « What’s your name? ».

Nishikage pressed his fist against his chest, performing the military salute he had been taught when he was at the training camp. He had gotten so used to it, he kept introducing himself to people in that way even after all these years. « Nishikage Seiya », he said in a solemn voice, « Free knight, not belonging to any guild but always ready to fight for justice, at your service ».

The mage giggled. His laugh was weird – instead of showing amusement, his face still looked cold and emotionless. « I’m Nosaka Yuuma », he introduced himself, « And I’m... just a mage ».

They shook hands. Nishikage felt insanely big standing in front of him. Even _his hand_ was so big that it could easily wrap around Nosaka’s. That boy had the body size of a teenage girl.

« So, huh, Nosaka... san? », he suggested the first honorific he could think of. Nosaka’s silence was enough to count as a reply, so he went on: « Need help with the pigs? ».

Nosaka smiled again. « Sure, thank you! », he accepted.

He turned around and tried to reach the next animal, but the pig they had just caught together jumped up into the air again. « Oh », Nosaka mumbled, but he didn’t make a move.

With quick reflexes, Nishikage caught it back before it could fly away. « Maybe we should tie them to this fence », he suggested, « Do you have a rope? ».

Nosaka’s gaze ran from the pig between the knight’s hands, to the fence, and brightened up for a second. He nodded and disappeared inside the tool shed next to the house. When he came back, he held many ropes in his hands, some nails and a hammer.

Nishikage held the piglet still while the mage surrounded its body with a rope and tied the other end to the fence, securing it in place with a nail. They worked silently but fast, and soon the animal was unable to escape anymore. If they cooperated, maybe this could be a quicker work than they thought.

« Sorry if I keep spacing out, anyway », Nosaka suddenly said, « It’s just that seeing them flying is so dumb... I’m having too much fun and I can’t focus ».

Well, he had a point. Nishikage smiled, and a pig flew by very close to his head. « They look funny indeed », he agreed, « But one thing’s sure – the magician who cast this spell must be very talented ».

He waited for the next animal to incautiously stop on the ground to roll in the mud, and then jumped on it. He kept that pig in place as well as it fought back, while Nosaka repeated the same action they tried before.

« Well, thank you », he said while making the knot.

Mud and other disgusting fluids were splashing everywhere during the fight with the animal, but Nishikage forced himself to calm down and not lose his cool. He could do it, no, he _had _to do it. It was against his principles to go crazy in front of a stranger he had just met. Furthermore, when he was with someone else that didn’t bother him as mu...

Wait, did he just thank him?!

Was he the one who cast that spell, then? Him? That boy? Nosaka? And he went around in such a calm way in spite of the disaster he had made?!

Nishikage was petrified in shock.

« Actually, the spell itself was elementary », Nosaka kept talking as if nothing had happened, « The real problem is that I have no counter-spell to turn them back ».

« Wait wait wait wait », Nishikage made a huge effort not to squeal like a little lady, « Are _you_ the one who did all of this?! ».

« Yep », Nosaka shrugged.

« Huh, okay... but... », Nishikage was more and more confused by the minute by that complete lack of interest, « Why?! »

« Oh », the mage shrugged again, « It’s Haizaki’s fault ».

Nishikage reached the fence and used it as a support. He was scared he’d faint, or even worse _go nuts and choke him_. Those pigs were a real nightmare, or so the inhabitants said. They couldn’t be bred anymore or kept in farms, they were roaming free in the skies and dirtying everything with mud, not to mention they scared the tourists away. And no, according to that crazy mage it was no biggie, something “elementary”. He hoped there was a good story behind that mess, at least.

« Haizaki? », he said as to incite him to talk.

« He’s a warrior, we grew up in the same city », Nosaka explained, « We’ve known each other for a long time, even if our relationship is pretty tense since he hates my guild. Months ago I asked him to bring back some materials from one of his journeys. So the other day when he passed by this village I asked him when I’d finally get them ».

Why did Nishikage have this feeling deep down that this whole story was stupid? « And he said... », he tried to guess.

« ...”When pigs will fly” », Nosaka finished. « Well, now the pigs are flying. But he left without giving me anything and the villagers are threatening me now ».

“_I wonder why”_, Nishikage thought. He brought his hands up to his forehead and massaged his temples slowly. He could feel his sanity slowly abandoning him. Honestly? He felt some pity for that boy – he couldn’t even catch that small hint of sarcasm, poor him, he had just taken him literally. Too bad a whole village got involved with his own personal matters.

It was time for a good moral lesson to the mage. He was a brilliant magician indeed, but he clearly had zero experience in dealing with people. He was like that, too, so it was natural for him to help him out a little. « No offense, Nosaka-san », he said, and laid a hand on his black tunic, « But don’t you think you made a mistake? ».

Nosaka stared at his hand but didn’t push it away from him. « Of course I do, that’s why I’m trying to fix this », he said.

All Nishikage had to do was to meet his gaze for a second to know he had been to quick to judge him. That wasn’t the face of someone stupid, but of a person who knows he can’t understand something and that he made a mistake due to his lack of experience. Who knows, maybe he had no friends when he was a kid, and he couldn’t know what sarcasm was or when to give up on someone who hates him.

But there’s always a way to make up for one’s mistakes, and Nosaka knew what “redemption” meant more than anyone else. « Then, no offense again », he said, « But I think you should work by yourself, to make up for your mistake ».

Nosaka nodded coldly. It looked like being alone or with someone else didn’t mean much to him – pretty much as everything else, by the way. « You have a point », he agreed, « Well, goodbye then. And thank you for the help, Nishikage ».

The mage went back to his job with a twirl. A piglet had stopped on the fence and fallen asleep, lulled by the breeze and the sun’s warmth. Nosaka reached it and held it tight.

He didn’t need him anymore, he was fine on his own. Nishikage turned around and went back to the pathway, thinking about the moment he’d leave the village and start a new journey.

Something fell with a thud. « Oh », once again that surprised murmuring, and then the noise of wings flapping. The piglet flew away at the speed of light, soaring above Nishikage’s hair. He couldn’t even deal with such an easy prey.

...Maybe he should stay a little longer.

* * *

« This should be the last one », said Nosaka after counting all the pigs from the start one more time. Eighty-four, males, females and piglets included, in all sizes and shades of pink. And on every single one of their chubby bodies were a pair of tiny disproportionate wings that made them look terribly dumb.

Looking at them all grouped up, Nishikage understood why Nosaka had had so much trouble focusing on the task. And he was happy he’d stopped more to offer his help, since it took them a whole day to finish this... it would have taken Nosaka a month to do everything on his own.

« We caught them all », Nosaka confirmed. He sat on the fence, looking proudly at the result of their hard work. « Now the biggest problem: I have no idea how to turn them back ». Nishikage sat next to him.

That afternoon had been surprisingly pleasant. He had judged him too fast. Chatting with him during those endless hours, he had found out a lot about Nosaka. They were the same age, but he was a genius mage – he was on the same level as his master at the age of ten.

He worked in the village as a doctor, and in his free time he researched spells to alleviate pain and remedies for rare illnesses. 

But he had gotten one thing right: he had no friends, except for Haizaki – the warrior who hated his guild – and some guy called Asuto, a paladin he had helped by chance in the past. And well, Nishikage as well.

Basically, Nishikage now knew that Nosaka was a genius with spells, but a disaster with people. He couldn’t understand sarcasm, and has no idea how to socialize, but he was very smart. That day he kept spacing out because he had spent a few nights studying a possible counter-spell for those pigs.

And so, they spent their whole pig hunting chatting, and even time flew. One could say they were friends by now. Nishikage even admired him for his skills.

« Wouldn’t it be beautiful if magic was easier », the knight said with a dreamy sigh, « Like, imagine if a counter-spell was just the spell but pronounced in reverse ».

He started laughing at his own words. He could imagine a magician saying random gibberish words, and everyone else considering him a genius of archaic languages, while in reality he was just saying nonsense backwards.

Nosaka wasn’t laughing though. He held his hand around his chin like every time he was focusing on something. « I never tried », he said.

Nishikage fell silent in a second. He stared at him with shock in his eyes as Nosaka stood up and went in front of the pigs, his arms spread out. He was ready to pronounce the magic formula.

Here we go, now he’d make another mess by following his joke as if it was some kind of smart advice. « Nosaka-san, I was kidding! », he hurriedly tried to explain, « I don’t think it’s going to... »

« Seiks eht ni yleerf gnimaor trats dna sgniw worg sgip knip dna ybbuhc uoy ho », Nosaka spelled with a loud and clear voice. His body was surrounded by a faint turquoise glow and his words echoes through all the countryside.

Then, silence fell.

_Of course_ it didn’t work. It was stupid to think such a simple solution would exist. Nishikage shook his head, disappointed in himself for getting his hopes up for a second. Well, the mage looked so serious that he...

_Pop!_

With the weirdest noise, a pair of wings disappeared.

_Pop! Pop!_

Two other pairs vanished into thin air.

_Pop! Pop! Pop! _At the speed of light, all the pigs went back to being regular, boring pigs. Normal, trivial, and most importantly standing on the ground.

Nishikage frowned. « No », he said, « This didn’t just happen ».

Nosaka was as happy as kid playing. He turned to face him and clapped his hands. « Yes, it did!! », he exclaimed, « We did it! Thanks for the help, Nishikage! »

And thus, the mythical adventure of Nishikage Seiya, free knight not belonging to any guild but always ready to fight for justice, involving the flying pigs of the Tsukimomiya plains, was finally over, after a whole afternoon of tough combat.

« But now, I wonder when I’ll get those materials I needed ».

Nishikage’s enthusiasm dropped. True, everything had started because of that. Well, he was a traveler and had no real aspiration in life, except to fight evil always – he could lend him a hand one more time, couldn’t he?

« I’ll get them for you », he offered, « Just tell me what you need ».

Nosaka gave him the brightest smile. The same he had seen from under his hood and that sent him right to embarrassment land. And this time as well, his face lit up like a candle.

« Really? », Nosaka asked, « So you’ll come back with my things, my knight? ».

Nishikage smiled back and hid his blushing face with his hands. « Sure, Nosaka-san », he said, « But please promise me you’ll never cast a spell again if you don’t know the counter-spell ».

Nosaka smiled mischievously. « I’ll only stop... », he said, and pointed at the sky with his finger. A pig had fled from the spell and was still floating in mid-air above their heads. « ...When the pigs will fly again ».

* * *

« That’s the most idiotic load of crap I’ve ever heard », Haizaki grumbled. He was laying back on his bad in a lazy, uncomfortable way.

Nosaka pouted while he closed the book. « It’s just a fairytale », he protested, « It’s supposed to be silly ».

« Hey, I liked it! », Asuto exclaimed, holding a pillow to his chest with a dreamy face, « It’d be nice to live in such a world ». Nosaka smiled at him, happy at least _one_ of his teammates had appreciated his narration.

« Meh », Haizaki murmured again with an annoyed expression, dropping the conversation. « Okay, playtime’s over, I want to sleep. Please get out ».

Everyone got up and gathered their belongings, including Nosaka and his trustworthy book. « I’m sure you’ll have the nicest dreams after this goodnight fable, Ryouhei-chan », he made fun of him.

All he got in response was a murderous glare. « I said _get out_ », he ordered. Asuto left the room laughing out loud like a little child. Nosaka and Nishikage followed him, closing the door behind their backs.

Nosaka took a few steps forwards to reach his room, but he noticed Nishikage wasn’t following him. « Nishikage? », he called out, « Shall we go? ».

« Nosaka-san... », Nishikage muttered, « Nosaka-san called me his knight... Nosaka-san... ».

And, just like a kid, he started crying out of joy, while Nosaka patted his head with tenderness and Haizaki cursed him from inside his room for all the noise he was making.


End file.
